Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?
I don’t know when I became madly in love with one dish that my mother made. Even today when she makes that, my eyes gleam in happiness. It’s nothing but Parippu curry(Moong dal).
Let me take you through it. The parippu is very soft after cooking and the flavours are mild but well balanced.
Now imagine you have a cut banana leaf spread over the table. Put two spoons of cooked Matta rice over it. Make a small well in the middle of the heap of rice. Add the sizzling hot parippu to it and then add a teaspoon of ghee to it. I am salivating just by describing. Take a pappadam and break it over the parippu and mix everything well and enjoy your food.
Enough foodgasm for today; have transported me well to a lot of childhood memories.
All around, I see spirituality being labelled to a particular religion or a diety but I’m not there. At a younger stage of my life, I was a great believer whose comfort and connection was with someone divine in mind. 15 years apart, I can see how I have evolved from a believer to an atheist and then to a spiritual person.
For me spiritually is an experience that feels beyond the five senses. It could differ for each person. I don’t completely believe in the existence of a god whose command dictates what happens in our life. I can’t label my spirituality to a religious experience or ritual.
Above everything it’s energy that flows between individuals and every living and non living that excites me. I can feel energy sucked out of myself when I feel sad, or betrayed . I can feel energy radiating through my smile when I’m happy. The above applies to other individuals in my view too. These are just vague expressions that are describable because what I experience and feel is beyond description.
Hence let me free myself from the general notion of spirituality and flow along the Stardust until I’m one among them.
How would a person with low self esteem rise above the wounds that made her so? Well, I would be a walking example of that.
Today, healing has helped me in loving myself whole heartedly and caring for my body and mind equally on a regular basis. Self care involves everything you do to make your body feel genuinely loved and cared for, not some instant dopamine rush or impulsive love.
I care for my body by taking care of its health problems, having a healthy lifestyle by exercising and having a balanced diet, taking care of skin and hair on a daily basis and acknowledging the imperfections I feel I have. Accepting your body as such without promoting either toxic body positivity or fad diets. Being responsible for my actions and taking steps to correct those in case of mistakes is also a method of personal growth and self care.
To maintain my mental health, I journal regularly, try to exercise daily, and seek help if necessary. Avoiding toxic environments and setting boundaries with others, personally and professionally, is also a kind of self care that almost everyone struggles to achieve.
Cheers to the self love one can give to ourselves and thus can love others more truly.
Beaches.. What an emotional rollercoaster, it provides.
I remember the day I went with my best friend to a new beach side restaurant at my place. As we parked the car , a cool sea breeze brushed through me, I paused for a while and then I knew the evening was going to be pleasant.
The restaurant ambience welcomed us with a cheer with the mild yellow lights and beautiful plants ,sandy floor and melody song running in the background. Very few visitors were there when we arrived. The restaurant waitperson gave us water and a limited menu was also handed over. We ordered a light food and cold drinks for the light outing.
Our chitchat about life, passions, career choices, everyday routine etc was beautifully blended with the restaurant ambience, yummy food and breezy beach beside. It reminded me of the last time i had visited a beach in the night for food. That was two years back during a GOA group trip with a bunch of people from different parts of Kerala.
As we finished our food, paid the bills and left the place, our hearts were more filled than our tummies.
Oh yes! I turned 31, two days back. I’m just making it a big deal. It’s not that big of a deal. Age is just a number (cries in low decibels).
Most of my life and its decisions didn’t go as I planned. But reality is it rarely goes as you plan. We can make momentary changes, work for our goals, dream big and keep working for it. But we are humans. We make mistakes, life gets upside down or sometimes brightens up more than you think or desire. The mantra is “Keep Going”. Take care of yourself and love yourself. Keep growing and learning as you find new things, new thought processes, new ideals, and new mindsets. Keep the inner child alive and happy.
Be kinder, create empathy and compassion for others, learn to live sustainably (one step at a time), and don’t forget to set your boundaries.
Easily said than done. But it’s your life. You are living it and you deserve to make it better, at your own pace.
I have been vocal about mental health, anxiety, depression and mental health disorders for some years now via social media. Still while sharing quotes about them or sharing my own blogs I often think many times before doing that. It’s the fear of having a judgemental society around that considers it abnormal to speak about our fears, pain, uncertainties, our insecurities or our vulnerabilities. But when I see random people share about these and I feel validated. And maybe my motivation to speak about these is also the same. My stories and opening up might make someone else feel seen and help them to come out of their comfort zone. So let’s do the talking.
Since childhood I have been constantly reminded by my own people around how “over-sensitive” or stubborn I am. Over the years I didn’t know how everything amplified into extreme sets of emotions for me. I remember my first interaction with a mental health counsellor at my school . I remember how , with so much courage, I asked him about the constant self harming thoughts I used to get since I was 13/14 years. But due to the kind of invalidating response I got , I stopped speaking about it anymore. Over the years my symptoms have worsened. The overwhelming thoughts , impulsivity, low self-esteem, uncontrollable mood swings have accompanied me for another 10+ years. The actions due to those have often hurt the people around. But very few could try to understand me.
Then after years due to new acquaintances’ or my friends’ guidance I found the courage to take therapy. And I am so grateful I did that. Therapy is my saviour. I am grateful I have friends around who have understood me well. And the battle is not over. I haven’t healed completely nor stopped making mistakes. But I know my emotions and thoughts are valid and someday I will find my best self. Right now I am loving the current version of me.
In this country where healthcare accessibility is often a privilege at places, even talking about mental health and therapy is a privilege. Before writing this , being an overthinker, it has crossed my mind many times whether i should post this. But I challenged myself to do that.
Mental health issues and disorders is not a myth. It can happen to anyone around you. It can happen to your closest ones. If more people are aware about its importance and reduce the stigma around speaking about it, more people will finally come forward seeking help.
At the same time it’s important to know that one can’t force someone to therapy. But we can surely make anyone having anxiety, depression, mental health disorders etc know that their emotions and thoughts are valid. We can be kind and empathetic to them , at the same time set our boundaries too. With more awareness and non judgemental spaces to talk about it, more people can heal.
We can’t pour from an empty vessel. Everyone doesn’t have the caliber or scientific knowledge to treat other’s issues. That’s where psychologists, therapists and psychiatrists are important. And I know it’s often a privilege to take that help for many of us.
I hope with time and more efforts, let more people come out of their closed nets, speak about it, seek help and make Mental health and Therapy affordable and accessible to all. Let’s normalise seeking help as same as treating your physical health issues. Let’s make our workspaces, educational spaces and social gatherings acknowledge taking leave out of mental health issues as something normal.
CURIOUS LOGOPHILE 