Through my eyes; Dr APJ sir

Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

It was months before he became the President of India that Dr APJ Abdul Kalam sir visited our school. Being a student of ISRO’s school was a blessing and privilege, I would say.

Inspite of being a very young kid, I was very excited to have an interaction with him. Though I couldn’t ask any questions directly, I saw him respond calmly to everyone who asked him questions. That persona he left behind still radiates within my head. Each time I see a previous interview of him in TV or YouTube, I remember his presence at our school. The aura he radiated is an inspiration to be and have impacted me very positively in my life.

Kind humans radiate positive energy.

A fresh breath of air and a Beach Side Dinner

Beaches.. What an emotional rollercoaster, it provides.

I remember the day I went with my best friend to a new beach side restaurant at my place. As we parked the car , a cool sea breeze brushed through me, I paused for a while and then I knew the evening was going to be pleasant.

The restaurant ambience welcomed us with a cheer with the mild yellow lights and beautiful plants ,sandy floor and melody song running in the background. Very few visitors were there when we arrived. The restaurant waitperson gave us water and a limited menu was also handed over. We ordered a light food and cold drinks for the light outing.

Our chitchat about life, passions, career choices, everyday routine etc was beautifully blended with the restaurant ambience, yummy food and breezy beach beside. It reminded me of the last time i had visited a beach in the night for food. That was two years back during a GOA group trip with a bunch of people from different parts of Kerala.

As we finished our food, paid the bills and left the place, our hearts were more filled than our tummies.

Freedom: Through my eyes

What does freedom mean to you?

Oh! I see myself as a rebel and still haven’t felt complete freedom yet.

For me freedom means the ability to do things I love to do without harming another person within the rights given as per constitution. As a woman, it means my independence to choose what I wanna pursue academically, where I want to travel, what I chose to wear and what I dream to achieve in life.

I have understood from experience that to achieve complete freedom as we dream, it’s important for one to be financially independent. It not only builds confidence and motivate but also make one less dependant on others to do what u need to.

At the same time, having freedom doesn’t mean we can hurt anyone or break any law. But in times of injustice, we can definitely peacefully fight for our rights.

In the times of war and miseries around, I absolutely find Freedom to be a privilege I have.

JOURNALING: A HAVEN FOR PEACE

An activity that I have been doing since I was a 14/15 year old. I used to write about friendship and love the most back then. Daily happenings that affected me both in a good or bad way found its place in my diaries.

I don’t know why but somewhere in college life I stopped doing that.I even stopped writing poems and short stories which was one of my passions in school time.

Years later when lack of a job put me in severe mental health issues, I resumed journaling again. I wasn’t consistent but it slowly felt therapeutic. I found my way back.

As time passed Journaling became a habit for me. It’s been two years or more. I’m a consistent journaling enthusiast and it makes me understand everything better , be it my thoughts, my doubts, my career and personal growth, my relations , my emotions etc..

To anyone who wants to track your mind and be mindfull, I would recommend Journalling. The peace you achieve when you read your old journals and feel proud of how much you have grown is unexplainable.

An Idle mind is a devil’s workshop

“An idle mind is a devil’s workshop”

Oh definitely!!
Nothing else seems true in the case of my mind in this recovery phase.
The deepest thoughts and fears crawl again and again to ponder my mind.
I sigh in disappointment but it’s what it is.
Not being able to go out or meet anyone even at home can make you go out of order sometimes, however  you try to divert it through books, movies etc.
Family support at home and peer support through messages is what keeps me going.
Luckily Now I’m learning slowly  how to make the best of this time.
Hoping for a speedy recovery and sending love to my dear ones.

Peace And Reflections

It’s been hardly 18 days since the surgery, something I had waited since 2015 I guess. I’m recovering much faster than expected. I’m so grateful for the team of doctors and the post operative care I got from the hospital. I’m grateful for the friends who find time to keep me busy or care about me.

But I’m most grateful for my family. Not because they care  me the most, but because they have shown me a human’s maximum potential to care and cure.

As much as my body needs rest right now, the boredom equally puts my mood down, at times. But it’s okay. It’s necessary to take time and heal your body.

Hoping to recover faster and hoping to meet my people very soon.

Until then adios

Everything Matters

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

Even the minute things around me can give me instant happiness.

Be it the  dew drops on my scooty as I unpark it for a ride to my workplace or the sight of a bird flying over the sky making patterns.

Even a small interaction with nature or people brings me joy. It may sound cliche but finding two people laughing out loud on the side of the road can make me smile too. My mother calling and telling her daily affairs can make me happy. My coworker saying good morning can make me happy.

A peaceful cup of coffee with a yummy ghee roast can make me happy.

Some materialistic, some feelings, some energies, some conversations; all can make me instantly happy.

Childhood and Balarama

What book could you read over and over again?

Oh! It’s too evident I guess. Almost every 90s malayalam kids would never get bored of reading Balarama, the weekly children’s malayalam story magazine.

I don’t know how many years, me and my brother had waited for Friday, just to grab its copy. Then it’s overall a fight , about who will read it first.Bro was very curious about books , stories, reading through pictures, even before he started reading letters and writing. He would make Amma sit and make her read it multiple times until he feels satisfied.

The Friday newspaper used to come along with a supplementary paper and then balarama, both kept inside. I wouldn’t even have the patience to check the main newspaper. I would just scramble the top papers and just grab our balarama.

Even today,even after turning 31, I wish I could read the short stories of balarama, play the small puzzles and feel refreshed , daily I guess. The millennial middle class malayali in me will be so happy.

Nothing Fancy, Just getting older and better

1st Birthday vs 31st Birthday

Oh yes!
I turned 31, two days back. I’m just making it a big deal. It’s not that big of a deal. Age is just a number (cries in low decibels).

Most of my life and its decisions didn’t go as I planned. But reality is it rarely goes as you plan. We can make momentary changes, work for our goals, dream big and keep working for it. But we are humans. We make mistakes, life gets upside down or sometimes brightens up more than you think or desire.
The mantra is “Keep Going”.
Take care of yourself and love yourself. Keep growing and learning as you find new things, new thought processes, new ideals, and new mindsets. Keep the inner child alive and happy.

Be kinder, create empathy and compassion for others, learn to live sustainably (one step at a time), and don’t forget to set your boundaries.

Easily said than done. But it’s your life. You are living it and you deserve to make it better, at your own pace.

Imagination Queen

As I brush through the words from my current read, that too by the author of my favourite book, I recognize one of my positive quality . For a person who had spent years in the loop of low self esteem, even slightest realizations is a celebration.

So let’s come to the point. I was talking about my imaginative skills.. Whenever I write about a memory or experience or a fantasy story, it’s easier to phrase it for me as I tend to feel the same experience in my head while writing about it. I can feel every emotions, taste, fragrance, the warmth and much more as close to the real experience.

Many times I had seen my imagination power to be a Bane, as it is often difficult for me to erase traumatic experiences from my mind as they stay as pictured memories in my head.

But that’s how world works I guess. And in my world, I am working on making my Bane to more of a boon , all at my pace. Little bit of darkness might stay back at the end of the transformation, but that’s okay.

What is a delicious biriyani without a few ilaichis in it.